Taking Hold. Warning: Slight Whine Alert

Why can't I seem to get obsessed with something and have it take hold permanently in my life? Take exercise, for instance. I can go for a while and be really good on a daily basis, showing up at the gym, but one day I can be injured, or not have time, or be tired, and not go, and -- BOOM! I can be done. No jonesing for that next exercise fix. It could be weeks. Months.

It happens with a lot of things in my life. Guitar Hero. Crossword Puzzles. Writing this blog. Some tv shows. The enneagram thing (previous post). Is it laziness? Apathy? Genuine loss of interest? Short attention span? It's not that I'm not an addictive personality. I was addicted to smoking for years; in fact, I could pick it up again at any moment.

I am gearing up to go on Facebook and I know that when I am first on it, I will be on it constantly. But then I know it will be a few months or so, and I'll disappear. I joined twitter only to tweet half a dozen times and realized it was kind of pointless. Or maybe I just don't get it?

Maybe I'm a slave to fads. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and these things are just transient anyway? I don't know. But I'll try not to let that happen with this blog. I just need something exciting to write about.

Enneagrams -- I'm a Four

Righthand (female):
free enneagram test

Random Thoughts

I know I said I was going to post on who was worse-- Michael or George. So here's a little snippet. George Costanza is worse. And here's why: they're both infantile, they're both selfish and needy, but Michael Scott will back down and at least sometimes tries to take social cues from what other people are saying/doing (except for, of course, Toby); he's a people-pleaser. He wants to be liked. George couldn't care less if people like him (except a woman he's after, or if he's going to lose a job).

Some random thoughts, as I can't seem to come up with a coherent, cohesive post right now in the doldrums of winter . . . .

I want to read "Meditations in an Emergency" by Frank O'Hara because Don Draper was reading it after he saw some guy at a bar reading it on an episode of Mad Men.

Why do people ride friggin bikes in the winter? I mean, we drviers can hardly get by on some roads with two cars parked on either side and you want to share the road? Isn't it kinda dangerous for everyone involved? Take the T!

Oscar noms are out and boy do I have some work to do! I'm going to see in no particular order: Slumdog Millionaire, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (I HATE that title), The Wrestler, Doubt, Revolutionary Road, Frozen River, The Reader, and The Visitor. It happens to me every year--I think I have plenty of time in the Fall when all the good Oscar-worthy movies come out, but not this year. I started a new job, so that's my excuse. If I have time I'll see Tropic Thunder, The Dark Night, Changeling, Rachel Getting Married (not a fan of Anne Hathaway) and Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

My neighbors are driving me crazy. I think I'll save that for another post, but suffice it to say, they start to stir at 4:30 every morning (I just ordered a sound machine because my fan is too cold in the winter), they clomp around heavy footed CONSTANTLY, and don't even get me started on the woman's screaming her husband's name: "Bob!" Okay, I'm a bitch. But I get cranky if I don't get enough sleep.

The days are getting noticeably longer -- even just for a few minutes a day . YAY! I am sooooo psyched.

I am also psyched to be going to Seattle in three weeks to see two of my very best friends--Kara and Kate. Why do all but one of my best friends live so far away? It really sucks that we (I) didn't have the foresight to "settle down" near each other. ... I AM flying on Friday the 13th! . . . . . . . . . I'm not superstitious (much). I just won't walk under ladders, but I own a black cat. I knock on wood, but I don't hold my breath going by graveyards or pull my feet off the floor when driving over railroad tracks. I'm a menu superstitious person. Just like I'm sort of a menu Catholic. Very sort of.

I miss Joaquin Phoenix!!! He looks terribly bloated in the latest issue of US Weekly, and rocking an awful, Chris Robinson full beard. I would still quit my job to be his girlfriend, though.

I am a little bored with running. I have got to find something, though, because I'm still 10-15 pounds away from my goal . . . maybe I will try spinning.

Baseball season is so very close -- there was an ad on TV for tickets going on sale at Fenway, and it features one of the two guys you see at every home game right behind home plate. It's the one who sometimes wears turtlenecks and has a middle part. Jed Lowrie is in it, too. He's straight out of the 40s that guy, isn't he? Look at his hair and how he wears his pants. I'm going to a Spring training game with my sisters on March 28 -- I'm psyched to see the game, the City of Palms Park and the boys, even if they are a bunch of white guys and Papi.

I downloaded Womanizer. I feel so cheesy, especially as a teacher. Ah, guilty pleasures!

Any Top Chef fans? Any guesses on who will win the season?? I know my least favorites are Hosea and Leah. I would be happy with Fabio or Stefan or the blond chick with all the tattoos whose name escapes me at this moment. Not Carla, the hippie (sending her desserts out with love?!). Jeff's ok, too.

L O S T is back!! I am very excited for the new season, but I hate watching only one episode at a time. The Closer is back on on Monday. These will keep me going until Mad Men comes back on.

I watch a lot of TV, don't I? Maybe that's why I don't have time for Oscar-worthy movies . . . ?!?

I do read, too. I just read Forgotten Fire about the Armenian genocide, and am reading Lord of the Flies for the first time. It is very flawed; I can't really defend it when the kids complain. I am also reading Bill Bryson's history/biography of Shakespeare. It's funny, because he is, but it's taking me a bit to get through it, just because there's so much else on my plate.

Birthday coming up in a couple of weeks -- I'm thinking of ignoring it. That doesn't mean I don't want presents, though. Just kidding. Sort of.

Okay, next time will be a more well-crafted (as much I can) post. Promise.

Who is Worse?

Who is a worse human being: Michael Scott or George Costanza?

I'll tell you who I think in my next post.

Beware: Tongue-in-Cheek. Sorta.

I know I should probably post about the holidays, but I just don't feel like it right now. Maybe as it gets closer. Or maybe between Christmas and New Year's Days. Or maybe not at all.

I want to post about celebrities we couldn't care less about (and yes, you New Englanders, it IS "COULD NOT care less about" not "COULD care less about"). Why bother posting if I couldn't care less? Well, because, I am just taking my guilty pleasure a little too seriously right now.

I think there are two types of serious celebrity gossip: Oscar-worthy, serious, film analysis and deconstruction, and US Weekly cover-worthy pablum for those of us who like to "read it at the gym."

Now, when it should be a time for buzz and news and all things Oscar, I have to see Jennifer Aniston everywhere for the feel-good (gag) movie of the season, Marley and Me. High school freshmen girls are going to say that's the best movie ever. I'd rather see Slumdog Millionaire. And I really don't care what Aniston thinks about Angelina Jolie or feels for John Mayer, The Poser, or that she's naked in GQ. I am sick of her already. And her best role was in 2002's The Good Girl - almost seven years ago.

I am also really tired of Spencer and Heidi. Could they please go away quietly? It's uber sad that I even know who they are -- it is taking up valuable brain space away from other useless trivia I could carry around for the next Trivia Night. Do E! or US Weekly or TMZ really think we care? Britney and other train wrecks and their respective "comebacks" we care about, us slaves to celebrity gossip. Can they even differentiate between "good" and "bad" pablum? Apparently not.

If I can't see Philip Seymour Hoffman or Meryl Streep, I wanna read about J Lo's marital troubles (thank you, US Weekly, for returning to solid A List gossip this week--the spread on Heidi and Spencer's wedding almost made me stop buying the mag). Look, there are A list stories to go with A list celebrities, and these shows and magazines are just giving us mostly B and C list news -- Marie Osmond? C'mon!! What's going on with Clint or Clooney?

You Want the Moon?

George Bailey: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.

Mary: I'll take it. Then what?

George Bailey: Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair...

...

If you have never watched this movie in its entirety, or if you associate it only with Christmas, you are missing a gem. Long one of my sentimental favorites, and not just because it's Frank Capra (a truly optimistic director with the underdog always coming out on top in American society -- just see Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (the original with, you guessed it, the fabulous Jimmy Stewart) or You Can't Take It With You.

...

The classics are classic for a reason -- the same way you read an old classic novel, you watch classic movies. The scene pictured above is without a doubt one of the sexiest and romantic love scenes in cinematic history (along with Scorcese's Age of Innocence when Newland Archer touches Ellen Olenska's bare hand underneath her glove), and it involves no sex.

...

It's A Wonderful Life is full of drama -- we feel for poor George Bailey who is always doing the right thing by his family, even at the expense of his own happiness. He is a true cinematic hero. Jimmy Stewart delivers a great performance that is brilliant in his restraint -- we feel the boil of his passions underneath the surface of his everyman likeable good guy. He curtails his own desires for travel when his father dies and he takes over the Savings and Loan, and sacrifices again when his brother comes back married with the prospect of a new job with his new father-in-law, not taking over the Savings and Loan from George, as promised.

...

Sure, the message that no man is a failure who has good friends is feel-good. But what a ride it is seeing how the world might be different a la A Christmas Carol if George had never been born.

...

Watch it and do not shed a tear or think about your own life or your own friends.

...

I dare you.

"Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs;

Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears.
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
A choking gall, and a preserving sweet.
-- Romeo and Juliet 1.1.190-194

I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes some couples work and others not. I realized that in my own relationships I was not able to tolerate doubt. There are so many types of couples -- those who get together in high school, in college, or those who get together afterwards, in their late twenties, and many more.

Is it serendipity that keeps certain couples together? Timing? Tolerance? Patience? Fate? Can't find a better man/woman? Fear?

Can you be in love with more than one person at the same time? Is it natural to have monogamy for life? Or to have a few loves in our lifetimes?

I've had love and it's been both the greatest and most painful experience. "'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all"? I'm not sure I believe Alfred Lord Tennyson on that one.

I was talking to a friend tonight about this, the state of some of the marriages we were aware of where the two people seemed just ... well, stuck in it. And she said, and I rightly agreed, that we would much rather be alone than be in such a relationship. Is that cynical? I do know of a few marriages (and I do mean a few--I can count them on one hand) that work. And it is work, even then.

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma

Where is the love?

Are you there, God? It's Me, Sheila.

I have not been this emotional in a while. And by a while, I mean a couple of hours. No, I kid. And this is no joking matter.

I am absolutely praying that the people of this country will prove what Martin Luther King wished: that Barack Obama will be judged, not by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character.

What if the shoe were on the other foot?: Obama/Biden vs McCain/Palin

(Courtesy of an email forward)

What if the presidential candidates exchanged race?
Think about it...
Would the country's collective point of view be different?
Ponder the following:
- What if the Obamas had paraded five children across the stage, including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?
- What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?
- What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?- What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was divorced?
- What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after she was severely disfigured in a car accident?
- What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair while he was still married?
- What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to pain killers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?
- What if Cindy McCain had graduated from Harvard?
- What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late>1980s and early 1990s.)
- What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?
- What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter?
- What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?- What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many occasions, a serious anger management problem?
- What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer distribution?
- What if the Obamas had adopted a white child?

If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?
This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference. So let's consider some other stuff like educational backgrounds:

- Barack Obama: Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations. Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

- Joseph Biden: University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science. Syracuse University, College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

- John McCain: United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

- Sarah Palin: Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester. North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study. University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism. Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester. University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism.

Education isn't everything, but ...

S C O R E

And I don't mean as in athletic games. I watched Before the Devil Knows You're Dead and something about the score reminded me of the Ethan Hawke version of Hamlet. It helped that Ethan Hawke was in both movies, but also that Before the Devil Knows You're Dead is Shakespearean tragedy-esque. But I really think the scores are almost identical.



The score also reminded me of No Country For Old Men. Good old imdb. Carter Burwell did the original music for all of them. I guess it doesn't take a genius to figure it out; I was just psyched that I did.