Mrs. Malaprop?

She looks like a cross between Tina Fey (sorry Tina, you're still my hero) and Peggy Hill (and a tiny bit of Tammy Faye Bakker rolled in there), and talks like Marge Gunderson (I love your performance Frances McDormand, but oh yeah, YOU were playing a role) with her down-to-earth, plain-as-folks speak. As an anti-choice working mother of five--one of whom will be a teenage mother (shame on you NPR for comparing her to Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Angelina Jolie, and not a more apropos Jamie Lynn Spears), one of whom has Downs Syndrome, and one of whom is slated to be sent off to war (on SEPTEMBER 11th, no less)--a card-carrying member of the NRA and an avid hunter who displays furs, but "doesn't wear them", a native of a small town in Alaska, who advocates oil drilling in the North Slope of her home state, the wife of her high school sweetheart (who is part Eskimo and a strong "union guy"), she is straight out of Central Casting. And she has the temerity to accuse the Obama campaign of hauling the styrofoam Greek columns back to some studio lot. Hrmph. The irony. Oh, the humanity.

Does the RNC really believe that Hillary supporters will cross the aisle in the voting booth and vote for a McCain-Palin ticket just because there's a woman on the ballot, when not even female Democrats would in the Democratic primaries?

As a woman, I don't want to be catty and criticize her accent or outfits, or say she's a bad mother for going to work as Governor when she has a special needs five-month old baby at home, or be shocked that she'd even consider shaking up her family life when her daughter is about to have a baby.

What about good old Republican family values? I guess in her case, country comes before family. Nor do I want to judge her for the choices her daughter makes. But what about the conservative belief in abstinence over sex education? Just let it go by the wayside because, oops, it's convenient to show how pro-life you are, say a few Hail Marys and be done with it?

I will admit she seems smart (good speechwriters abound in politics, though), and she is a good speaker, despite the flat Marge accent. But let's talk about the contents of her acceptance speech.

"Pundints"? Is that a new word?

John McCain, having survived a POW camp is certainly a "profile in courage", but don't use an iconic Democrat (John F. Kennedy--Profile in Courage Awards) when it conveniently serves your purpose, but denounce all other Democratic ideologies. "Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy, I knew Jack Kennedy, Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy."

"Victory in Iraq is in sight"? Whose? The site of a rifle?

She is "always proud of America"? Really? Even during WWII with the Japanese Internment Camps? Even during slavery? Or the Civil Rights Era when human beings were lynched for the color of their skin and being hosed down on the street engaging in their constitutionally-granted right to free speech? Even when wiping out the Native Americans? Even when going into a country to depose a heinous dictator (after years of rule) when the real aim of our vitriol should have been getting Osama bin Laden, who more than five years after 9-11 still plots and plans, recruits, trains, even after thousands of American troops have died? Even during Abu Ghraib? This was clearly a dig at Michelle Obama, who was being forthright. It is not unpatritotic to say you feel shame in some of our acts as Americans. Achieving an unplanned pregnancy can be a heat-of-the-moment human mistake. Ritualistic and institutionalilzed racism, misguided vengeance and self-righteousness perpetrated over months and years is an ethical shame.

What "actual responsibilities" will she have as vice president? Presiding over the Senate and breaking a tie vote? Meeting with Heads of State? She got her first passport in 2007 and in July told CNBC that she didn't understand "what is it exactly the vice president does all day."

Her dig at San Francisco was a palpable attack on liberals and, in particular, gays and lesbians. As her speech wore on, I asked, who is this woman? And who does she think she is? She, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, alludes to Barack Obama as Moses, or in one place as the second coming of Jesus Christ. Does she think we wicked, sinful liberals won't get her references? Maybe she thinks she's Mary Magdelene to McCain's Jesus?

From factchecker.org:

"Palin may have said “Thanks, but no thanks” on the Bridge to Nowhere, though not until Congress had pretty much killed it already. But that was a sharp turnaround from the position she took during her gubernatorial campaign, and the town where she was mayor received lots of earmarks during her tenure.

Palin’s accusation that Obama hasn’t authored “a single major law or even a reform” in the U.S. Senate or the Illinois Senate is simply not a fair assessment. Obama has helped push through major ethics reforms in both bodies, for example.

The Alaska governor avoided some of McCain’s false claims about Obama’s tax program – but her attacks still failed to give the whole story.

Finally, Huckabee told conventioneers and TV viewers that Palin got more votes when she ran for mayor of Wasilla than Biden did running for president. Not even close. The tally: Biden, 79,754, despite withdrawing from the race after the Iowa caucuses. Palin, 909 in her 1999 race, 651 in 1996."

And, check your facts further, Sarah. Obama talked about clean coal a week before you did. He also mentioned tax breaks for the disappearing middle class.

On a side note to the introductory speakers of the night -- gee did you think we wouldn't notice that they were women? What's with the eBay and Hewlitt-Packard women as featured speakers? Does the job of Vice President imvolve running a company, or does this just show more connections to special interests (tax breaks for big companies)?

Shame on you, Sarah, for trotting out your baby as a political prop (notice she was holding him face out for all to see; what is his name? Sine? Cosine?) and for dismissing abuses at Guantanamo Bay.

And I'm sorry, I have to sink and ask, what is with the hair?

Long lost brother, lumberjack Michael Palin.